26/01/06
41Grumpy old man
The older I get, the grumpier I get. I didn’t see this coming, but nowadays I feel more need to rant about the crap things than before:
Web Related Rants
- You see a nice looking site on Netdiver or Styleboost. You think to yourself “Mmm, I’m gonna get me a look at that tasty looking site”. You click the link, all innocent. A BIG FULL SCREEN POP UP WINDOW TAKES OVER THE WHOLE CHUFFING SCREEN!!
- Flippin’ Google Ads between the blog entry and the comments. I’m not against Google Ads (I’ve flirted with them on PimpMySafari after all), but this particular placement annoys the hell out of me. Obviously this is a good placement for the blog owner concerned. Thank goodness for ad-blocking.
- Self made Job titles like ‘User Experience Architect’. Aaargh.
Other rants
- When you buy food that has a ‘serving suggestion’, in which the photo suggests you put the food on a plate. Thanks for the help.
- Straplines that claim that the product is “XXX your Way”. The worst one I heard came tonight on a toothpaste advert – “Its your mouth, brush it your way!”
- That on channels like Nick Jr, a channel for pre-school children and above, the adverts are predominantly for loan consolidation (“worried about you debts? Feeling like there is no way out?”). The worst one was for chuffin’ burglar alarms, depicting a masked man breaking into a house at night when everyone was asleep!
I’ll spare you more of this curmudgeonly behaviour. Normal ‘happy and poppy’ service will be resumed…
Tags: rants
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Nik said 1077 days ago:
No need to worry, it’s not you getting older. Everyone and theyre dog hates pop-up windows, and I think I am the alpha canine in this case.
The Google Ads… Good placement for owner, bad one for me. Annoyed me a bit when the Oxton decided to do this.
Small Paul said 1077 days ago:
Wait a minute. You say it’s my mouth?
jordan said 1077 days ago:
I didn’t realise there were that many people left who believed in full-screen popups… my main experience with that was when a site had a splash page that wanted me to open a full-screen flash animation.
As for Google Ads and the like… AdBlock with the filter*pagead takes care of that one for me. :)
With regards to advertising and stuff in general, I absolutely despise nearly all advertising I’ve ever seen, which has earned me some odd looks since I’m a graphic design major.
Colly said 1077 days ago:
Good work in the field of grumpiness, Jon. Aren’t we the same age (32)? I’m with you on all of it.
Just removed Adwords from my blog – hated it, and more trouble than it’s worth. I’d NEVER put ‘em between posts though. Naughtiness.
Colly – (Contemporary digital interface technologist) – signing out.
Scott said 1077 days ago:
If you think Google Ads are bad, try subscribing to an O’Reilly RSS feed. When you click on a link (eg. title) to go read the article, they make you view an ad first before sending you on your way to the actual content.
They just recently started with that and it’s really bloody annoying.
Mathew Patterson said 1077 days ago:
I think the ‘serving suggestion’ thing is a legal arse-covering maneouver to stop people suing when they find out the plate is not included in the box. My favourite serving suggestion used to be on Jatz Crackers – poured from the box onto a non-descript surface. Brilliant!
Joshua Bryant said 1077 days ago:
So what do you use for your job title then?
Greg said 1077 days ago:
Where I work, we have an entire User Experience department, complete with ‘Interface Engineers’ (thats me, client side coders basically) and ‘Information Architects’ (do the wireframing and functional spec docs mostly). Funny how made up titles are suddenly accepted at mainstream companies. But hey, I get to call myself an Engineer!
JCRogers said 1077 days ago:
Similar to your first point, but non ad-related: Using google images, and when clicking the thumb to get directly to the image, the site thinks you’re hotlinking and won’t let you see it. I usually just don’t even bother at that point.
I think google ads are probably the best form of ads, really. Simple unobtrusive text stuff. But yeah, sticking them inbetween the post and comments is irritating. And on news sites, ads halfway through the articles bug me. “Experts say that LOWER YOUR MORTGAGE the giant crayfish will…”
Though I’m opposed to ads in general. I’m just saying the google ads are slightly less obnoxious than those flashing, jiggling, siezure-inducing ones. Slightly.
Alexis Gallisa said 1077 days ago:
Hell I get pissed off at places which use javascript to replace a simple target=_blank. This because I have _blank set to open in a new tab in Safari(courtesy of Stand). Now if anyone wants to buy me a 30inch LCD I may not object so much since I could probably just start throwing windows all over the place.
Seamus said 1077 days ago:
I have seen first hand at my college that pop-up windows are a thing you should use. Got a form for the person to fill out—make a custom sized pop-up window for it. And then they are also taught that users will not know to scroll down on a page to read content. Also, CSS is a passing fade. It’s annoying, but they most likely don’t know any better.
Martin said 1077 days ago:
It’s as if we’re being engulfed in morass of… crassness and imbecility! Personally, I’m irked when fellow Brits say things like “X, my ass” when attempting to express derision (or ironic appreciation) for X. It’s bleedin’ “ARSE![]()
No no no, don’t humour Americans in this way, you’ll just look like a wanker to your fellow compatriots! Let them read (or hear) “arse”, it won’t hurt them, they’ll understand, they won’t cry and take their money elsewhere, for gawd’s sake! Google Ads in the middle o’ blog posts, imbecilic straplines, “ass” – it’s always people who should know better!
Aeeeeerghnngngghh.
Still, there’s always viola. It amuses me no end. It’s not an uncommon sight to read an otherwise useful guide to the latest piece of CSS or AJAX wizardry that reads something along these glorious lines: “A dash of CSS, a pinch of AJAX, a dusting of XHTML and – VIOLA! – you’ve got a superbly robust instance of web interactivity before you’ve finished your first Skinny Latte!”.
I think the use of randomly appearing musicial instruments (string or wind) in such guides should be developed as an admittedly less-than-random theme. The triumphant exclamation that I’m claiming for my next super-duper tutorial is “GLASS-ENCASED BASSOON!”.
Ehh… sorry ‘bout that, Jon. At least you are officially sanctioned “happy and poppy”. ;)
Richard Earney said 1077 days ago:
I had a tin of Tuna from Sainsbury’s recently and the Allergy Advice was “Contains Fish”.
Well I do hope so!!!!
Chris Neale said 1077 days ago:
Alternatively :
Brush like a dentist
&
Walk like an Egyptian
Matt Wilcox said 1077 days ago:
It’s good to havea rant every now and then, it clears the air. And so, two of my own…
Rant 1: Any film/TV ad that starts with the words ‘In a land / world / country …’. You just no it’s going to be one mans struggle against a big oppressive system/government. snore
Rant 2: The ad on TV ‘I cant stand bad odours…’ and by that point I always seem to say ‘And I cant stand you and your crap advert’ before rapidly changing chanel.
Oh, I feel better.
Peter Nixey said 1077 days ago:
lol, I was thinking exactly the same thing watchin it last night. Every time I see the advert it puts me on edge wondering what terrible subconscious concessions I’m making to my current little toothbrush.
ian said 1077 days ago:
i agree about ‘self made job titles’... so pretentious it does my head in!
Denis Radenkovic said 1077 days ago:
Yeah, Sarah and me were laughing at it last night :-)
nick harris said 1077 days ago:
Something you may enjoy, Jon”:http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0316729531/qid%3D1138267181/203-6555664-3668719
Other food related gripes: “warning, food may be hot after heating”... reeaaaallly?
Richard Rutter said 1077 days ago:
Sorry about the Google ads on Clagnut, Jon (they’re not going though). The ones that really annoy me are Malarkey’s (gotta be honest Andy).
Matt Lindop said 1077 days ago:
Yeah, and what is this ‘Internet’ thingy anyway? I don’t know it wasn’t like that when I was etc etc etc…
Yours
Web Interface Hygenist
Chris McElligott said 1077 days ago:
I’ve dabbled with Google ads before too, they’re just bloody annoying. No matter how well they relate to the content at hand, the links are nothing but crap.
Mark Boulton said 1077 days ago:
It’s certainly got something to do with being 32 because I agree with everything you just said, in fact I was just thinking about the Google Ads thing this morning before I read your post and I’ve ditched them too. Bloody annoying things they are.
Jeremy Keith said 1076 days ago:
Jon, I couldn’t agree with you more on every single one of those points.
Yer a man after me own heart, so y’are.
Patrick Haney said 1076 days ago:
I absolutely hate when links pop up in a new, full-sized window, which is why I have the Firefox extension Tab Mix Plus installed. I can tell it to open new popups in a new tab in my current window which saves the day.
Though I suppose it’d be better for everyone if web people would just stop this practice of opening new, full-sized windows instead of making us find a workaround.
Veerle Pieters said 1076 days ago:
Can a grumpy old woman join too? :-D I totally feel your pain… I don’t want to rub it in again with my 30”, but full screen websites are bad for my heart: my anger gets the betterhand and my head gets filled with bloody thoughts about dark possibilities what I could do to the owner :o) Hm… maybe I watch too much crime TV these days. Then again if I go shopping and some trolley gets in the middle of the way because of some stupid moron that only thinks he/she is alone in this world, I want to hit the damn thing (with a bit noise) to get my point across :-D
Jeez I feel much better now, thanks Jon :o)
Fluffy said 1076 days ago:
My favorite self-made career name was for some friends who dumpster dived stuff to sell in various ways to pay their rent. They were “freelance suplus relocation engineers”.
karmatosed said 1076 days ago:
Yep getting older equals grumpier and think too that the over thirty is the magic number, well since turning 30 and heading to 31 for me. I like to call it GOWDS or ‘Grumpy Old Web Designer Syndrome’.
Dylan said 1076 days ago:
Aye, I can relate to a few of those.
I find Kitta’s ads to be pretty obtrusive (even when blocked there’s a large space). I also hate it when advertisements claim that their product is “of the future”.
The children’s station ads are just there to get the parents to buy into them. Or to scare the children and turn them into mindless consumers, afraid of being robbed.
Graham Bancroft said 1076 days ago:
Got to agree the ads on Nick Jr are an outrage, Georgia (5) can spell consolidation, not the end of the world I know but when she grows up she wants to be a financial advisor.
In her defence though, she never wants to do an advert with Phil Tufnell, so all is not lost.
Lemony said 1076 days ago:
A contest or free give-aways is so much better than any pop-up
Lindsay said 1076 days ago:
Having commercials like that on child-based channels is ridiculous. They may not be realizing it, but situations where kidnappers actually come into houses while everyone is asleep can actually make an imprint on the kid. Doesn’t take much common sense to notice that.
Tim Woolfenden said 1076 days ago:
I agree, I hate those dept/loan/finance ads they do my head in! . Value added mobile phone content is by far the worst. -Jon, remeber I was trying to set up a meeting with you last year? We were both too busy all the time. Well, I might have to arrange something with you again, even if it’s only a quick chat on the phone. I’ve applied for the “Junior Designer” position at a certain Oxfordshire web design agency that you have done work for. It would be great to get some inside info. Hope to hear from you soon on that. Back to the rant.. I always thought that “Information Architect” was a made up job title, but apparently these days, you can do a degree in it!
mearso said 1076 days ago:
Glad to read all these comments where I can see I’m not alone in coming back with witt bon-mots to adverts that are particularly dumb.
My oldest boy asked me last night why I talk back to the adverts, and I think I see it now as necessary venting.
Marko Mihelcic said 1075 days ago:
I lmao on this sentance – “Mmm, I’m gonna get me a look at that tasty looking siteâ€. You click the link, all innocent. A BIG FULL SCREEN POP UP WINDOW TAKES OVER THE WHOLE CHUFFING SCREEN!! / hahahaahh , your right about that its getting on my nervs also >)
Brian said 1075 days ago:
I turned 34 last year and it feels like the first year of old age. Morning commutes on the NYC subway are beginning to annoy the shit out of me. And yes, I’ve also been a long-time hater of fullscreen popup madness!
Oh well, at least I still have my good looks ;)
pete b said 1075 days ago:
How’s this for insiduous…I was writing an email to a friend using a gmail account, I used the word baby in the text somewhere, anyways, next time I login to gmail I have adverts for nappies, talc and childcare all down the inbox sidebar.
It’s freaky being stalked by a GoogleBot
Karl Bedingfield said 1073 days ago:
Don’t get me started. I have been a grumpy old man a while now. Things that get me grumpy: people with more than 10 items in the ‘10 items or less’ queue, always when you are in a rush. Drivers who don’t indicate. People walking down the road with a mobile phone stuck to their ear and with no sense of direction.
I could go on but writing about these things has got me angry again :)
Shane said 1073 days ago:
I’m with you Jon – I’m getting grumpier as I age. What’s worrying is that I’ve always been a little grumpy. I wonder how far it will progress.
Yep – drivers not indicating is one for me too. Baby on board advertising. Rudeness. People who are frightened of the rain, opening their umbrellas a the earliest opportunity, without any regard for your sight. Film or book reviews that claim you’ll ‘laugh out loud’ (I rarely find they do.) People tapping their fingers…
Oh god. I even annoy myself.
Stephen said 1072 days ago:
For me it has to be the latest AOL campaign in the UK. A vile FUD campaign masquerading as a debate, that’s trying to scare people into thinking the internet is full of terrorists, pædophiles and racists and that by using it you will become infected somehow. The print ad reads:
“Child abuse, terrorism, racism. Should cencorship be the only thing banned on the internet?”
In the TV advert they better themselves by ironically charging the internet with spreading propaganda and creating an Orwellian big brother state. Even though the footage they show is of CCTV cameras—a quite seperate technology from the internet.
Arlo Rose said 1068 days ago:
Ha!
My job title at both Sun and PGP was User Experience Architect. At Yahoo I’m about to get something far far far worse than that… and I’m not making them up.